Dear Brown Trout Productions Guys:
I had always wanted to go see Lucha Libre in TJ. I have been a fan ever since the documentary Nacho Libre came out exposing the hard life of Luchador "Nacho". Ever since then was my obsession to go and see the Luchadors in action. Unfortunately with the drug violence in Mexico I have yet to be able to achieve my lifelong dream. Then, one day I was walking on the Imperial Beach Pier when I saw real Luchadors in action!!!!! At first I was confused; why were the majority of them wearing Hawaiian shirts? and why were they on surfboards? While pondering these very serious questions I gleefully watched as numerous fighters went to battle against each other, the waves and sometimes themselves. When the bloodshed subsided and the crowd dispersed I went home very satisfied. That is not to say that I did not continue pondering the reason as to why the Luchadors were surfing. In fact, for three days straight after witnessing the event I was stuck behind my computer, researching. After 72 brutal hours of analyzing different sources such as The Bible, old issues of Gourmet Magazine, and interviewing people who were trying to sell stuff on Craigslist I came to the terrifying conclusion that the Luchadors were not Luchadors at all. I discovered that in the fifties, somewhere in the desert in Nevada there was a secret, underground, cage fighting ring in which Mexican Wrestlers from all over the world would go to test themselves. One day a spaceship filled with the decedents of the Silver Surfer crashed on the sight. The engine of the ship had cracked releasing a strange nuclear substance that caused the alien beings and the wrestlers to mold together into surfer/wrestler/badass hybrids. When the government found out they quickly quarantined the crash zone(this would later become known as Area 51). There they have been contained and quarantined. In recent years decendants of the crash had managed to escape. There have been a number of sightings at Lower Trestles and most recently in Imperial Beach. There is no doubt in my mind that this is what the Myans were refering to when they predicted the end of the world. Attached are some pictures that I managed to take. Beware!!!
-Anon.
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| This is their leader( El Luchador de Playa Imperial) |
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| Though they may appear incredibly good looking it is ill advised to approach the fighters. |
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| very few pictures exist of this many of them together, I am willing to sell this copy for cash-money |
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| Yes, they are responsible for recent activity in Somalia |
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| Not your ordinary BZ shredder |
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| One of the smaller escapees...on the prowl |
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| you should be afraid |
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| Dont be fooled by his style, hes just as dangerous as the rest of them |
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| El Luchador de Playa Imperial Prepares to piledrive an opponent |
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| The calm before the storm |
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| They are not affraid to get barreled |
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We at Brown Trout Productions would like to thank Anon. for this warning. If you or a loved one ever sees these surfer/wrestler/badass hybrids again, take it as a sure sign that the world is about to end and hide in the underground bunker that we all know you have in your back yard. The apocalypse is coming...
-I.D.
